Sleeping in

Here's my dilemma:

On my right side, I am reminded that my right shoulder hurts and does not want to bear weight.

On my left side, my left hip screams at me to switch to my right side.

Lying on my back just makes me feel guilty and nervous about decreased blood flow to my lower half.

To top it all off, I'm kinda starving.

I have 2 more chances at a decent sleep-in day and then it's church on Sunday and back to "the grind" Monday. Lame.

It's a marshmallow world

So I love this Christmas song:

A Marshmallow World (Live) - F...

But I don't so much love my marshmallow feet right now. Big belly has been fun so far, big chest has been irksome, but these feet! Oh my word.

Maybe if I cut the salt and drink about 4 gallons of water they'll go down and not rear their ugly head for another few months.

Hahaha, oh well, guess I need a pedicure because it might be time to start wearing flip-flops.

Preggle & Wiggleworm

I went out last night and bought myself one of these:


It's called a "preggle." No lie. Whatever you call it, it was expensive for what it is (an oddly shaped pillow with a velcro strap so you can configure it in various ways to fit the shape you need it to be for optimal sleeping comfort). I slept horribly on Monday night, and I slept alright last night. So it seems to have helped, and maybe once I figure out the best shape for me and practice maneuvering it, that will improve my sleep. :)

The main reason I stopped to write this was that our little wiggleworm is at it again! I just love feeling him move. For one thing, it lets me know he's a-ok. And it's just, well, nice. I feel more aware of him when he's wiggling and kicking and repositioning in there, and it makes me stop and say "hello." I just cherish these little moments because someday he'll be out there in the big bad world and I won't know where he is or what he's doing, but for now, I know he's safe. And this was one of those things I always looked forward to about pregnancy, and feared I wouldn't get to experience.

It's really hard to describe what it feels like, some people say it's similar to gas - but I say no way! It's way more pleasant and distinct than that (at least to me). Just more like a gentle little muscle spasm or teeny kick from the inside. It's just amazing, okay? If you haven't been there yet, you'll know what I mean when you're ready. :)

Wedding Ring

Aw, sad.

Aaron and I were joking at breakfast about my ring getting too small . Which was funny until I really truly couldn't get it off my finger. Even with spit followed by dishsoap. So I froze it with a bag of corn and then put a heap of lotion on my finger and still had to twist and argue with it to get it off of my finger.

So, it looks like my wedding ring will be relocating to my left pinky. Unless my poor little pinky gets so swollen it can't handle the ring, then I think I will brave wearing it on a silver chain around my neck.

I'm trying so hard not to swell up like a balloon, and at the same time trying to remember that if I do swell up I can swell down, and even if I don't it's for a good cause.

Relish

So Aaron argued with me on mustard being the red-headed stepchild of condiments and said that relish held that title.

And today, while I was debating where to go for lunch, I found myself being magnetically drawn to Fatburger. Why? Because they put relish on their burgers.

Cravings: 98,000. Kim: 800.

*sigh* If you can't find me after I get used to having a newborn around, check 24 Hour Fitness or Weight Watchers.

Aaron thinks I'm crazy

It's official. The latest craving is... corn dogs.

Lori and I almost got them at Disneyland on my birthday, but didn't get around to it.

Then while I was up visiting family in Northern California for Thanksgiving, we ate Bar-S hot dogs for lunch two days in a row. They were great, but left me wishing for that corn dog I never got at Disneyland.

So, I did what any crazy pregnant lady does: I went to the grocery store on Monday night in search of some frozen corn dogs. Imagine my joy at finding Bar-S brand corn dogs!

Now I've eaten one or two three days in a row, today will make it 4 cause I'm about to go eat one before I eat my homemade chili leftovers! Ha!

Almost equally satisfying in eating a corn dog is the MUSTARD! Oh, mustard, you red-headed stepchild of condiments, I am sorry I neglected you pre-pregnancy. I promise I'll make it up to you for the next 21 weeks (lol).

Boy or girl?

So we really wanted to do something creative to tell friends and family, and this is what we came up with.

It reads a little better in person. If you are in doubt at the end, just pay attention to the color in the last box. It's a little blurry. ;)

And wowza, I am really feeling this little one move around a lot tonight! :) Guess all that pushing on my belly riled somebody up.

I love it! :D

Again?!

Okay, Baby, seriously.

Enough with this throwing up business. Every time I think it's over, BAM! Smacked in the face with a vomit-stick. Ugh, at least it seems to be just once a week now instead of once a day. But still, I really really dislike throwing up.

Just have to keep reminding myself it's all worth it. I'm sure I'll forget when I look into this baby's beautiful eyes for the first time in May.

Hi baby

I have to say, I am pretty much loving experiencing this baby move around inside me. On one hand, I can't wait to meet, hold, and kiss him/her... but on the other, I want to keep him/her safe in here forever. I especially never want to forget moments like these when feeling these little wiggles inside of me are so precious and appreciated. I hear that later on it can get quite uncomfortable, I just hope I'm able to hold onto the joy in it and soak up every pleasant minute of being pregnant.

It's so crazy to think that just 3 months ago I wondered if we would ever be in this boat.

I'm so, so, so thankful.

Free at last?

Well, I haven't experienced any nausea in the past couple days... maybe I'm done with that!

If not, if I could just make it through today at Disneyland with my friends for my birthday, that would be awesome. :)

I have to admit, it's going to be tough for me not to go on Indiana Jones, Space Mountain, Star Tours, or Big Thunder... but those are about the only ones I think I'll really be "missing". I still get to do all the fun kitschy Disney stuff. We may even watch the parade!

It is really odd to realize that this is my last birthday as a non-mommy. I really don't expect birthdays to be so all about me and what I want to do for quite a long time after this one. It's exciting and scary and wonderful all at the same time.

Ok, I'm off to take my sweet time getting ready.

No news is no news

Aaaahhhh! After all that, no ultrasound at all today. We might get to find out next week at our big anatomy scan ultrasound. Ugh!

Exciting

I'm starting to feel the baby move a little more distinctly each day! :)

This morning I actually put my hand over my belly and could feel it just a little bit, so I had Aaron come feel and he could, too! Not really kicks, per se, but little twitching.

So fun! Can't wait to get "kicked"! hahaha, I say that now and then I'm sure that will get uncomfortable after a while.

We have an appointment today, hoping that we find out the gender. Then I have to figure out what creative thing I want to do to tell everyone... stay tuned!

Once more into the breach

Well, I thought I was all done barfing as far as this pregnancy is concerned.

Au contraire!

A breakfast burrito from Cowboy Burger sounded really good this morning. But then it didn't taste that good. And I kept eating it because I was hungry. That was my 2nd mistake. The 1st mistake was getting that boomerang in the first place.

Bleh! Now I'm back to square one, empty tummy. I don't even have my anti-nausea medication here because I had taken it out of my purse thinking I was done with this stuff.

Good news is, apparently every time I ralph, my baby's IQ goes up a point. Okay, well, not every time... but still, it's an interesting study! Check it out.

Baby Body

Oh man! One thing is for sure, this preggo body does not do well with standing for 3+ hours at a concert. I'm sitting down resting my back against a wall while one of my favorite ever artists finishes out her set. :(

Some do's and don'ts

So far in pregnancy I've had a few instances of being hurt (even if only slightly) by some of the following. Okay, so not all of them hurt but they still make for good blogging. ;)

Don't react to a pregnant woman showing you how much her belly has "popped out" by asking her if she ate too much over the weekend.

Do say, "Wow, there's a baby in there!"

Don't comment on a pregnant woman's belly size with such remarks as "wow, are you having twins?" or "are you sure you're only ___ weeks along?"

Do tell a pregnant lady she looks pregnant (not fat), and that she's "glowing".

Don't call a pregnant woman "Pregosaurus Rex".

Do offer to pick things up for her when she drops or can't reach them (because of her disproportionately short arms, hahaha).

Don't look at a pregnant woman's pile of buffalo wing bones in wide-eyed amazement and comment that you can't believe she ate all of that.

Do look at a pregnant woman's buffalo wings and say that some wings sound great and that's what you should have had for lunch.

Don't call a pregnant lady a weirdo for stealing sweet pickles from your fridge.

Do tell her to go ahead and help herself to whatever she can find that sounds edible in your kitchen.

Don't look at a pregnant lady in shock if her weight gain is a little... ahead of schedule. Chances are she'll even out in the end, at least that's what her Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy tells her.

Do reassure her when she's concerned about her weight that breast-feeding will help take it right off.

Don't mention to non-females the fact that Pregosaurus has a special bowl to use for inopportune nausea moments. Those moments might be embarrassing and inappropriate for mixed company. ;)

Do be sympathetic if Pregosaurus tells you a horribly embarrassing story and offer a bowl if needed.

Don't ask a pregnant lady if she's tried ____________ (saltine crackers, ginger ale, 7up, graham crackers, etc) for her nausea. Believe me, she has.

Do lend your pregnant friend a hair tie if she mentions she has forgotten hers. If she mentions it, it's because she needs it and is kicking herself for neglecting her right jeans pocket that morning.

Don't tell your pregnant wife that you're going to be sad if she cries if she's wrong about the gender of your kiddo.

Do tell your pregnant wife it's okay to be disappointed, especially while you are extra-emotional, tired, and sick while pregnant.

and a last thought for the day...

Don't reply to a pregnant lady's comment of, "it's okay, I'm not as big as a house, YET," with "Yet being the operative word."

Do offer to plug in your own peripheral equipment on your computer, or do any other job that requires the pregnant lady to crawl around on all four.

Those are just a few of the little funny isms I've run into during these past couple months. Hope you've enjoyed them. Oh, and I also hope you know I'm not taking myself too seriously with any of these. Although, I am really insecure about my weight and have always been - so I am not looking forward to the gain or the long road ahead of me with taking it off.

In fact, on a serious note, I really am trying to take good care of myself as far as eating. I have not had the time or energy to exercise. And eating has been a challenge with being sick and having so many aversions to various foods.

I have a busy several days ahead of me. Tonight dessert with a friend, tomorrow evening I'll be spending some time with another friend who I feel like I haven't seen in ages, Thursday we're going to see Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me in Pasadena with Joe for his birthday gift, Saturday we have a party to attend in the evening, then Monday I'm going to see Imogen Heap with Joe and Francine for MY birthday gift. Whew! Who needs sleep, anyway?

MORE pics...

So it took me a while but I finally scanned the ultrasound pictures from that 2nd ultrasound I had during the week of 10/18.

These are from the Nuchal Translucency (NT) ultrasound on October 22nd. It was really cool to see the little one squirmin' around in there. In one of these pics (s)he's even waving! :)

Enjoy.

Cautiously optimistic

Well, it's 4:22pm and I have yet to take my anti-nausea medication today.

I'm not feeling perfect, but Kevin said I looked more like myself today and I haven't felt ill enough to really give much thought to taking it.

Oh, I hope the nausea part is over. I really really really really really hope so.

In other news, I have better ultrasound pics to put up but have not found the gumption to scan them and upload them yet. Perhaps tonight. We have a quiet Friday night ahead of us, thankfully.

Dreaming

First things first, the answer you're all dying to know, yes, I'm still sick.

I keep hoping that I'm going to hit that magical day when the nausea disappears. I'm 13 weeks today, so I'm not gonna lie, I was hoping that might be today. Not so much.

But, at least thanks to the miracle of modern medicine, I am not puking. I definitely prefer feeling sick and not puking to feeling sick and puking.

Moving on...

In every dream I have had about this baby, SHE has turned out to be a girl. I had another such dream last night, even though I have specifically prayed for some shift in that gut feeling that it's a girl if I'm wrong. Even if just to be somewhat uncertain, instead of having this nagging "feeling" that this baby is a girl.

Last week, on Tuesday or Wednesday night, both of my sisters-in-law had dreams that our baby was a boy. Like, they both had a dream that our baby was a boy on the same night.

Which made me feel a little bit of doubt over my own intuition. Do I just want a girl that badly? Before we got pregnant I never really thought I had a preference. I actually do want at least one of each. And Aaron and I have always thought that if we did ever get pregnant, it would be a boy because of some really cool ways that prayers have been answered while we were unsure of whether or not we'd ever even be in this boat.

But I've had 3 dreams about our baby during these past couple months, and in all of them, our baby has been a girl. Last night her name was Emily - which I was hoping was going to have some great meaning or significance, but was kinda disappointed to learn it means "rival." During the month we got pregnant, while I was actually pregnant (but before I realized it), I for the first time got really attached to a specific girl's name (Vivian Grace).

So, is it a boy or is it a girl?

I can't wait to find out. I honestly believe I will be happy either way, but my hormonal pregnant self might be a bit disappointed if it turns out I'm "wrong" and it's a boy and not a girl.

Yes, you may call me crazy now.

Pictures!

First things first, I updated about my belly yesterday... edit... replaced with a much more flattering picture. ;)

From Baby Caloca

And, this is from today's ultrasound!

So exciting!

From Baby Caloca

I haven't thrown up since Wednesday (thanks, Zofran generic equivalent!). I am hoping that the morning sickness is on its way out, but that medication was a lifesaver while I was working at Crossroads over the weekend.

I have an NT ultrasound on Thursday, so I get to see the baby AGAIN. Woo hoo! My mom's coming with me to that one, I think she's pretty excited.

By the way, NT ultrasound is part of prenatal screening for genetic defects. I'm sure everything will be fine, but if there were to be something going on I think I would rather know ahead of time.

Ok, I am so wiped out. Time for bed!

Rockin' the baby bump

Sometime between Thursday and today, my belly did a ridiculous amount of "popping".

Will post pics once I don't look like I got hit by a train... I am so tired from spending the weekend at Crossroads. :P

So Glamorous

Well, sorry for the lack of updates.

The thing is, I feel like if I keep writing about puking, those of you who don't have kids yet may be scared off. ;)

Basically, I feel sick right now. I feel sick in the afternoon, I feel sick in the evening. Not constantly, it usually comes in waves, and when the wave lasts too long, that's when I decide to go attempt to barf. Because for maybe 10 minutes after I do, sometimes longer, I feel better.

I can't wait until the "fun" stuff sets in - like feeling the baby kick! And I keep hoping that when my 2nd trimester hits I'll be some kind of super woman.

Other than that, I'm just counting down the days until my next doc appointment on the 19th. Hopefully I will get to actually hear the heartbeat at that one. :)

Lessons Learned

Today I learned and observed a couple things whilst horking in a public restroom.

1. People give public latrines a lotta undeserved flak... my porcelain bowl of choice tonight was cleaner than my home throne and the the one at work. Seriously, unless someone cleans your toilet on a daily basis, the nicer public ones are probably cleaner.

2. It is really annoying to be barfing and standing up and squatting down and have the automatic flush continually sense your motion and keep generously flushing for you. And what a waste of water, come on!

It's a... Fetus!

So I am 9 weeks pregnant.

The most exciting thing about this to me is that the baby is now a "fetus" as opposed to an "embryo". Yay!

If you click on my tickers tag on the left, you'll see it's moved over on the rainbow-scale one from a little blob that looks like an alien to a teeny-tiny little baby. That is, apparently, the size of an olive.

Crazy!

But if you were to Google pictures, it still doesn't quite look like a human being.

It's okay, Baby, I still love you.

Quick update

So, Aaron is out getting me a 99 cent chicken sandwich from Jack in the Box because that's what I really want to eat right now. :P

I think he's back, so I need to go.

But I wanted to update quickly that everything is going "well" - I guess. ;) Everyone says that puking = good healthy pregnancy, so if that's the case, this baby is healthy as a horse.

Mmmm, food's here!

They grow up so fast

According to Babycenter.com, my baby has gone from being the size of a lentil to being the size of a kidney bean.

I am 7 weeks and 6 days pregnant, moving my due date back to May 4th. I will just have to accept that whatever magic number they give me, it is really meaningless because (s)he won't likely be born that day anyway.

In the meantime, I barfed again today, oh the joys.

And I'm craving CINNAMON. Like red hots, jolly ranchers, gum, cinnamon bears... mmm, cinnamon.

My next appointment is in 4 weeks, at which point I suppose I will be close to 12 weeks along. Wowza!

Feeling productive

Yup, it's official. I am now a full-fledged puking pregnant lady.

All of these glorious days of feeling nauseated but not quite vomiting are over I guess.

Now I can look forward to inopportune moments of running for a receptacle with my hand over my mouth, because this bad-boy came outta nowhere. I wasn't even feeling particularly queasy, but all of a sudden I found myself losing my lunch.

Mmmm, hope you weren't hungry when you started reading this post!

So other than the digestive pyrotechnics of today, I've just been absurdly sleepy - and after 3 weeks without coffee, I don't think my caffeine addiction is the culprit. And I think when people talk about pregnant ladies' cravings, it would be more appropriate to talk about their aversions. Because I haven't once craved a peanut-butter and pickle sandwich or anything weird like that, I just look at about 98% of what's available to me to eat and it seems disgusting. Finding the edible 2% is like finding the proverbial needle in the haystack.

Of course, I must be doing something right judging by what my scale told me the other day. Yikes! Maybe this whole vomiting thing won't be so bad after all... hahaha.

We have another doc appointment tomorrow, and I guess another ultrasound. I don't mind getting to see my little baby's heartbeat again! And this time Aaron can see, too. Hopefully they tell me what my blood and urine tests from last week revealed. I hate when they run tests and then don't tell you anything about them because they're "normal." I want to know what my version of "normal" is! Plus I'm just a nerd like that and I love to learn about what all they are looking at and testing for.

Ok, now I'm off to make myself a fantastic coupon binder in an effort to save some serious cash before this baby comes! :)

"Morning" Sickness

It's really quite the misnomer. I get sick mid-morning, afternoon, and night. Not right when I get out of bed in the morning. In fact, sometimes when I first get out of bed I feel like I might not be sick at all that day, and then it strikes. Sometimes AFTER I eat breakfast.

I'm really not complaining, though! Just so happy to be preggo!

The odd thing is this is a lot like my weird stomach thing that I had after the big food poisoning (?) flu (?) I got in April of last year. For pretty much a month, nothing I ate was kind to my stomach. I tried doctor's orders of bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast (BRAT diet), didn't help. Just about everything I ate made my stomach agitated. I remember it was May 5th when things finally just cleared up. I woke up that day and just felt like I could eat whatever I wanted. And when I did, I was okay. So Aaron and I enjoyed a celebratory Cinco de Mayo Mexican food dinner.

At least this time I know I can look for that magical day sometime in the week of October 25th. Maybe sooner if I'm lucky.

For now, I'll keep taking my meals one slow bite at a time as I convince myself it's okay and I'm not going to lose it.

You know...

You know you're preggo when...

• You find yourself crying at Say Yes to the Dress. But not when the bride cries because she loves the dress, instead you cry when her mom cries because she remembers when the bride was a baby.
• The sight of the greek yogurt (or mention or thought of it) that you loved a week ago makes you throw up a little in your mouth.
• You realize after 10 minutes in a conversation with someone that you haven't heard the main idea of their thought because you started fantasizing about food, holding your baby for the first time, or going a whole day without feeling like something was going to make you vomit.
• You convince yourself to stay up past 8:30 on a Saturday night, and are surprised you've made it to 10:30.
• You have to stop eating something that tastes fine because suddenly you inhaled when it was near your face and something smelled... "footy". Even if you smell the food again and find that it was not the culprit, you are still put off by the very idea of eating it.
• You don't want your favorite foods and crave your least (or not so thrilled about) foods. Today that meant leaving 3 (*gasp*) uneaten strawberries on my plate and going back for a second helping of those plain Lays potato chips (you know which ones, the crappy ones they give you at Sea World with your hot dog instead of french fries).
• You find yourself eating at times not because you're hungry, but because there is some taste in your mouth (some call it "metallic") that is just downright unpleasant and needs to be masked with something that tastes good, or at least, better.
  

Tiny little heartbeat

Here is our first baby picture (the baby is the thing between the + signs)!

So, what's awesome about this picture is that while I was seeing it on the screen, I also got to see our baby's heart beating! Awesome!

And what's really sad about this picture is that my appointment was supposed to be at 4:30, but they called me in the morning to move it up. And the latest I could get was 3pm. And Aaron thought he could make it if he flew like the wind, but he didn't. :( I stalled and stalled, but it all just happened too fast.

Thankfully, my doc is a big fan of ultrasounds and I have another one on the 21st, and that appointment Aaron WILL be there for.

My due date based on the internet calculators was May 4th, 2010, but yesterday's measurement gives me an EDD of 5/5/2010... yes, my little Mexican baby is due on Cinco de Mayo. :)

Aversions

Oh, what joy. To be hungry and have absolutely nothing seem edible. To not even be able to listen to your husband's ideas for dinner without feeling like you're going to hurl at the idea of food.

To eat as much as you can tolerate, only to find yourself hungry again 90 mins later with nothing else that sounds good anywhere near you to eat.

To see the greek yogurt you loved so much for the past two weeks in the bottom of the fridge and have to shove it back with your foot because the very sight of it is absolutely revolting. To timidly proceed with peeling a tangelo during a meeting at work only to eat two slices and decide that it tastes "funny." To waiver back and forth on every single food option presented to you.

Oy vey.

It's going to be a long 6 weeks. ;) But I'm really not complaining. After wanting something for so long, it's actually kind of fascinating to experience it. It's definitely not as "romantic" in actuality as it was in my imagination prior to getting pregnant.

You know...

You know you're preggo when...

• An hour and a half after eating a good-sized lunch, you're hungry for 2nd lunch
• Even though you slept until 10am, it feels like 11pm from about 4pm on
• You think to yourself, "I can't possibly have to pee, I just went 30 mins ago..."
• You cry because your husband doesn't like the girl name you have picked out
• You wander aimlessly around the market being alternately repulsed and strangely drawn to foods
• You don't just want to eat something, you obsessively think about it until it's in your mouth

Tired

I am not one to take naps on the weekends. I would much rather get stuff done around the house, cleaning, organizing, laundry, yard-work, whatever.

But yesterday, knowing I was going to a Dodgers game in the evening, I took not one but TWO naps. One from about 10:30 til noon, and another from 3:00-4:00.

Today after church and lunch, I was sitting on the couch indulging in a little Law & Order SVU and the sleepies struck again! Next thing I know I'm out from 1:30-2:30. And if I had actually gone to bed to take a full-fledged nap instead of dozing on the couch, I probably would have slept longer. But, the cable guy is coming today with our new HD box with DVR and I didn't want to answer the door with sleepface. Ha!

Aaron is at the fair with Joe & Nathan, and I opted not to go because A. have you ever used the restrooms at the fair??? (I have to use the girlie's room constantly), B. I am so disgusted by greasy food right now and the main draw of the fair for me is fried ___________ (oreos, artichoke, avocado, etc), and C. I figured I would be wanting a NAP!

We have an appointment on Thursday to hopefully "confirm" our pregnancy, my fingers are crossed to see (but not hear) a heartbeat. I will be 6 weeks and 2 days at that point, and there's a pretty good chance that we will be able to.

My Stash

In this box, you will find:

• Organic Saltine crackers (YUCK!)
• Oatmeal
• Almonds
• Granola
• Honey
• 2 Nectarines (yes, 2, after I ate 1 earlier!)
• An apple
• Normal Saltine crackers (YUM!)
  

And in the fridge you'll find:

• A land-o-lakes chedarella square
• A container of low-fat greek yogurt
• Blueberries
• Grapes
  
• And, earlier, a Smart Ones pepperoni pizza

Now, wouldn't you think that with all of that food to choose from, I might have found something resembling lunch?

Yeah, here's the problem.

I found myself once again experiencing mid-morning sickness. Only today it was worse than Tuesday. I couldn't really bear the thought of eating anything, but I knew I should. I snacked on some saltine crackers. I tried to get myself to eat the peach Aaron bought me, but it was weird so I couldn't. I ate a nectarine. I finally talked myself into putting that pizza in the microwave.

But then when I took the pizza out of the microwave it didn't look or smell appetizing. And the edges were all hard. I took a couple bites in an effort to convince myself I could eat it, and it tasted freezer burned.

Poor pizza, you were destined for the trash.

So, in a last-ditch effort to get some semblance of lunch in for me and the little bean, I called in an order at Corner Bakery for a chop salad (with no blue cheese, of course). And a sparkling water, per a tip from a friend.

Can I just say praise God for this salad? I have been able to eat almost the whole thing and I feel a little better.

Maybe for 2nd lunch I can have my greek yogurt. We'll see how appetizing it sounds around 3pm. You know, because that's when it's about time to eat 2nd lunch... ;)

I guess this means I am going to experience nausea. And it's not anywhere near pleasant. And it makes me worry that I'm not going to eat enough to be healthy. But hey, I guess it's yet another sign that things seem to be going well.

Uh-oh... here come the sleepies! LOL - are all women rendered this useless when they're preggo?

Meandering & Nectarines

So yesterday I stopped at Henry's on the way home from work. My intention was to pick up a meat and vegetable to have for dinner.

But then I remembered somebody suggesting ground Flax seed for adding fiber to meals, so I got that. Then I decided I wanted some soy milk, and I got really bummed that they didn't seem to have lowfat chocolate soy milk (I'm not really craving chocolate, just like it better than the vanilla when it comes to drinking the stuff straight). Then I saw it...

All that glorious, glorious produce.

Grapefruit. Nectarines. Blueberries. Romaine lettuce. Mmmm... Nectarines are where it's at for me right now. I didn't have one yet today and it's starting to bug me. I've got an apple and a not-quite-ripe peach here on my desk, but I want a nectarine!!!

So I was quite the ping-pong ball meandering back and forth from one side of Henry's to the other. Getting funny looks from the guy who maybe thought I was stalking him as he stocked the shelves.

Later on, I went to Target & Ralphs. After eating a steak and baked potato dinner at 6:30, I found myself starving once again at 8 when I got to Target. I tried to make it through my shopping, but finally caved and bought some trail mix and water before I headed over to Ralphs.

Today I ate breakfast at 7, 2nd breakfast at 10:30, and was starving for lunch when I met Alicia at 1pm. Now I'm super sleepy and all I want is a nectarine induced nap.

A girl can dream...

Tick-tick-tick!

Make a pregnancy ticker

Counting down the days til we get to meet you, Isaac!

Settling In

It's still kinda hard to believe.

At this point, it's not so hard to believe I'm pregnant. I know that I'm pregnant.

It's hard to believe that in 8 months, we will have a baby. That's the part that I'm having a hard time buying into. I am trying so hard to stay optimistic, but that's hard when you know so many people who have experienced miscarriage. I feel like I know more people who have gone through that than have gone through infertility.

So, that's where I am today.

This morning I woke up at 7 and pretty much wasn't able to go back to sleep even though I felt tired. I felt hungry, like really hungry, so I had to get up and eat something. I used to forget to eat lunch, or I wouldn't eat until 2pm sometimes. But now when I get hungry it's like I have to eat something NOW.

Not really having morning sickness, just getting a tiny bit queasy here and there, usually when I'm hungry and haven't eaten something. But not enough to make me feel like I'm going to yack, just like I could if I kept ignoring being hungry. ;)

I pretty much quit coffee cold turkey, but I think I might need to stop and get a half-caf today or else I'll fall asleep at church.

2 Years in the Making

You may or may not have noticed my attempt at artfully and creatively dodging pregnant people, babies, and questions about pregnancy or babies over the last 2 years.

Aaron and I decided in August of 2007 that it was time to start a family.

But God had other plans.

We had always had some reasons for thinking that we might have issues when it came to having kids, but we had faith that it would be okay.

And then it wasn't. We didn't get pregnant. Again. And again. And again. I got progressively more depressed about it. It became harder and harder to watch our other friends have children and wonder if we ever would be able to or if we would have to try every fertility treatment available only to end up empty-armed.

We kept putting off going for testing, thinking maybe this month it will be different. That times 27 months gets tiring. Meanwhile, I'm getting outright depressed over the circumstances. One of my closest friends has had 2 children in the time we've been trying (yes, they are close in age). And pretty much everyone in our Bible study has kids or foreseeably soon will.

So, we got an appointment for a consultation with a specialist at a reproductive health center. I was a nervous wreck going into it, it felt like we were about to jump onto the scariest (and most expensive) roller coaster imaginable. After waiting for our appointment for nearly an hour, we left that appointment yesterday feeling no more assured of any possibilities than we did when we walked in. We left feeling vulnerable, frustrated, and with no more answers than we already knew.

But then something occurred to me.

The doctor was asking me about the date of my last cycle, and I couldn't remember. Partly out of frustration.

As we were driving home I decided to count back and try to figure out when I should be expecting my reminder that I was not pregnant.

Wait, is that right? Am I really a day or two or three late?

No.

Scroll through and find a chat I remembered about my previous cycle.

Really? I'm late. Okay, I've thought I was "late" before and taken a test only to see a big fat negative result. I mention to Aaron that I *think* I'm late and wouldn't that be funny if this time we really were pregnant.

He wanted me to go buy a test and wait to take it until he got home from back to school night. Once he got home, I vaguely remember moving quite quickly to rip open the box and take the test.

What happened next was completely unexpected.

I swear the time waiting for a pregnancy test to turn is the longest 3 minutes you will ever experience. And I've heard they turn faster when they are positive. But when I saw the little "Pregnant" on the screen without the "Not" in front of it, I think I lost my mind. I called Aaron (well, screamed for Aaron to come in, in a crying weird sort of overwhelmed scream), and showed him the good news. I was in absolute shock. Pregnant. We are pregnant.

No more infertility and insurance run around, no more scouring the internet for potential causes and treatments.

Just scouring the internet to figure out what my little bean looks like right now.

Yeah... it's been quite the interesting evening / day. I truly have a hard time believing it's real. I swear I have had more placebo symptoms in months when I for sure have not been pregnant. Although I do feel like I have spidey-sense with my nose. I'm smelling every single particle in the air, I swear! :)

I won't lie, I'm still really scared I could have a miscarriage. It sucks to have to live in such fear, but they're really quite common. I absolutely feel that this is a total answer to prayer, and I don't know why God would arrange such extraordinary circumstances only to have it not come to full fruition... but if that does happen, I'm clinging to the idea that at least we know we did get there without any doctor's help, so there is still hope.

But yay! I'm pregnant! And if all goes well, I will be a mommy by Mother's Day! (due date May 4 according to the internet)

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

See? Two out of two tests agree, I is preggo!!!