Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Dreaming

First things first, the answer you're all dying to know, yes, I'm still sick.

I keep hoping that I'm going to hit that magical day when the nausea disappears. I'm 13 weeks today, so I'm not gonna lie, I was hoping that might be today. Not so much.

But, at least thanks to the miracle of modern medicine, I am not puking. I definitely prefer feeling sick and not puking to feeling sick and puking.

Moving on...

In every dream I have had about this baby, SHE has turned out to be a girl. I had another such dream last night, even though I have specifically prayed for some shift in that gut feeling that it's a girl if I'm wrong. Even if just to be somewhat uncertain, instead of having this nagging "feeling" that this baby is a girl.

Last week, on Tuesday or Wednesday night, both of my sisters-in-law had dreams that our baby was a boy. Like, they both had a dream that our baby was a boy on the same night.

Which made me feel a little bit of doubt over my own intuition. Do I just want a girl that badly? Before we got pregnant I never really thought I had a preference. I actually do want at least one of each. And Aaron and I have always thought that if we did ever get pregnant, it would be a boy because of some really cool ways that prayers have been answered while we were unsure of whether or not we'd ever even be in this boat.

But I've had 3 dreams about our baby during these past couple months, and in all of them, our baby has been a girl. Last night her name was Emily - which I was hoping was going to have some great meaning or significance, but was kinda disappointed to learn it means "rival." During the month we got pregnant, while I was actually pregnant (but before I realized it), I for the first time got really attached to a specific girl's name (Vivian Grace).

So, is it a boy or is it a girl?

I can't wait to find out. I honestly believe I will be happy either way, but my hormonal pregnant self might be a bit disappointed if it turns out I'm "wrong" and it's a boy and not a girl.

Yes, you may call me crazy now.

1 comment:

  1. Kim, I was certain in my head that I was having a girl. But my gut said boy. So when they told me boy I smacked Jimmy and cried. Then later that day walking through the girls clothing section at Babies R Us I broke into tears again. I mourned the daughter that wasn't for a couple of days. Then I got over it. Then my new boyfriend was born and I couldn't imagine it any other way. Don't worry. If you are having a girl, HOORAY! If you are having a boy, and you feel some stuff, its okay. Feel it, cry, whatever. Don't guilt yourself for feeling that way. You'll work it out and in the end you'll be so in love that you'll forget you even cared.

    Gina B.

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