Gambling

So this is a hard day for me. I could have been induced today, but decided against it. I know in the long run it's the decision I will regret the least, however, today is another story.

I took a gamble with taking off work a week earlier than I had planned. My numbers seemed promising from my checkups, so I thought I was progressing just fine and would have the baby at least on time if not a *little* early (maybe a day or two, come on!).

And please spare me the whole "first babies don't come on time" spiel. Every woman's "birthing season" is between 37 and 42 weeks, as I learned from my prepared childbirth class. And I have 3 friends who had their first babies a week or two weeks before their due date in the past month. The due date is such an arbitrary date anyway, it doesn't mean ANYthing. And while I know that, it still sucks a whole lot to have passed it yesterday (and be passing the one my doc officially wrote in my chart today), and to still be sitting here pregnant.

ESPECIALLY since now I've already used 1 week of my leave, and I'm going on using 2 as of right now, and this baby may not even come NEXT week meaning I've wasted 3 weeks of time to spend with my son at home recovering and learning how to be a mom on sitting on my butt at home not being able to do anything because let's face it, at 39-40 weeks hugely pregnant I'm not exactly getting caught up on my spring cleaning over here. Sure, I got a couple things done last week, but it gets harder by the day.

SO, pardon my bitterness and my not wanting to answer phone calls or texts, but I'm DONE. The baby is DONE. He's already 8lbs by the doc's estimate from Monday. Who knows what the little heffer will be by the time he's actually born?

Add to the fact that it took us 2 long and terrifying years to get pregnant, and this pregnancy feels more like 144 weeks in the making than 40.

Pardon my pity party, I just needed to get this off my chest.

And yes, I've tried walking, I've tried my exercise ball, Aaron has been getting lucky, we've tried the nipple theory, I've been eating pineapple and other tropical fruit, and I've done a little bit of spicy food but it's a last resort because of the heartburn. So tonight, in observance of cinco de mayo we'll go get some spicy Mexican food. And YES, I know eventually he has to come out. I just want that to be naturally and sooner rather than later. :P